super early in the morning just to study sce cos it jus wont go in last night... o well b4 tt jus felt like blogging so here i m... well its this time of the year again... last year i jus got to noe a colour ard this period... yup mst period too i remb... both happen to study in the band rm for mst...didnt study thr for her though... didnt like her back then i remb... it was till much later... but o well past its past...

i tink i have resolved my problems with her alr actually, hope tt we can actually be normal toking friends again.. o well i will try to work for it but it wont be ez i guess...

which brings me to other issues... haven tok to the current 1 for some time alr... guess me am a very easily replaced person ba... o well... but there is just a fear in me that if i go ahead like with the lady from the top, the colour... then the chance of repeat telecast will happen... guess i cant go thru the same thing 2x in a year... lady chases shadow of the old.... me comes along trying very hard... too hard... another guys comes along... she start chasing that shadow instead jus like tt... tinking abt it send chills down my spine of the hollowness of the soul i felt back in feb... shall not tink into further details... this fear... well... i dunno what to do with it actually... i tink it will lesser as time goes if i actually follow the saggi way... hmm... but now... i jus dun dare to try so hard...

dun dare till i changed my mind abt working with her, abt many things... i m actually affected seeing there r ppl so nice to her and her putting all down in the blog... jus like what happen with the colour actually...

guess i only dare to fly like the wind this time b4 going too deep into this unless something pops out and fate show me tt i shd... guess that would jus be my brain showing me what i wan to see anw... guess i shd have stick with originally plan of mine... be everyone's fren... i tink i m better at that... guess not mine to keep ba... still need to mia with my sis when my original plan was jus to get the card, give u all herbal tea tinking u all might be toking the whole day like it fair like tt... =.= o well...

Mst is coming... time to really study and restock my stationary... went back to gysb band camp... still feel weird going back as 23 yo... older den the older ones by 4 yrs... rawr!! but then why i go back is based on a very simple idea... i jus wan to see gysb grown beyond what we couldnt do in the past... and if i can do my little part i would... hahaha couldnt tok much to the sax section cos i dunno them at all... lol... n dun wan bore them with my gramps like stories... nevertheless get to know some of them abit better... jus abit... hopefully i dun alway jus stick to hui ting they all for the alumni practices

I m actually still pissed about the moonlight bao yu thingy i dunno why... lol... guess no one touches my juniors...

i tink i jus gonna leave u be... i m sick of trying to guess and get it right when there is no right in the first places.. wont emo as much cos u r not at a colour lvl... fortunately or unfortunately....