super early in the morning just to study sce cos it jus wont go in last night... o well b4 tt jus felt like blogging so here i m... well its this time of the year again... last year i jus got to noe a colour ard this period... yup mst period too i remb... both happen to study in the band rm for mst...didnt study thr for her though... didnt like her back then i remb... it was till much later... but o well past its past... i tink i have resolved my problems with her alr actually, hope tt we can actually be normal toking friends again.. o well i will try to work for it but it wont be ez i guess... which brings me to other issues... haven tok to the current 1 for some time alr... guess me am a very easily replaced person ba... o well... but there is just a fear in me that if i go ahead like with the lady from the top, the colour... then the chance of repeat telecast will happen... guess i cant go thru the same thing 2x in a year... lady chases shadow of the old.... me comes along trying very hard... too hard... another guys comes along... she start chasing that shadow instead jus like tt... tinking abt it send chills down my spine of the hollowness of the soul i felt back in feb... shall not tink into further details... this fear... well... i dunno what to do with it actually... i tink it will lesser as time goes if i actually follow the saggi way... hmm... but now... i jus dun dare to try so hard... dun dare till i changed my mind abt working with her, abt many things... i m actually affected seeing there r ppl so nice to her and her putting all down in the blog... jus like what happen with the colour actually... guess i only dare to fly like the wind this time b4 going too deep into this unless something pops out and fate show me tt i shd... guess that would jus be my brain showing me what i wan to see anw... guess i shd have stick with originally plan of mine... be everyone's fren... i tink i m better at that... guess not mine to keep ba... still need to mia with my sis when my original plan was jus to get the card, give u all herbal tea tinking u all might be toking the whole day like it fair like tt... =.= o well...
posted @ 1:23 PM |
Friday, December 2, 2011
Mst is coming... time to really study and restock my stationary... went back to gysb band camp... still feel weird going back as 23 yo... older den the older ones by 4 yrs... rawr!! but then why i go back is based on a very simple idea... i jus wan to see gysb grown beyond what we couldnt do in the past... and if i can do my little part i would... hahaha couldnt tok much to the sax section cos i dunno them at all... lol... n dun wan bore them with my gramps like stories... nevertheless get to know some of them abit better... jus abit... hopefully i dun alway jus stick to hui ting they all for the alumni practices I m actually still pissed about the moonlight bao yu thingy i dunno why... lol... guess no one touches my juniors... i tink i jus gonna leave u be... i m sick of trying to guess and get it right when there is no right in the first places.. wont emo as much cos u r not at a colour lvl... fortunately or unfortunately....
posted @ 5:49 AM |
Monday, November 28, 2011
jus to remind i shall write it here....tue skip first lesson see i wan to study or sleep more tml... finish sch go for the hype interview... hope it is short... collect stand chart go gy... hopefully can study abit... or i will stay in sch to study... see my mood and anyone heading down anot...if i do i will go home bring study stuff and kk stuff to camp over shd try to interact with more ppl more... if nt like a boring only... i might stay tml night over in gy... see if jason allow anot... shall do more work hopefully... go to sch wed 8am... hope i do actually slp... lol... go for kk training at bukit timah.... hopefully not cancel like last week... go back bath and see if i can get back gy in time for prac... will drive thr to get saxophone at least and see if i wan stay anot... lol...thur i go vivo buy anything i need to buy for kk trip aft sch... and then come back for dip plus... by right is tue 1... shall see thur lesson what time...and friday got quiz then kk kit check... sat got band again... aft tt shall full mugging mode.. sun is stand chart... rawr!
posted @ 8:09 AM |
Sunday, November 20, 2011
hmm... it seems i rarely do recount of the day anymore here... its alway emo shit... guess tt bcos i prefer to put it here then to mafan ppl listen to me whine... and my whine is too honest for most ppl... so if u read jus b prepared if u nt happy with whatever i say... lets recount... today woke up on time surprisingly but its the meeting time tt i woke up too... was toking to munch abit... woot so many more ppl got iphone... naise... i tink its the first time we tok till so serious... lol... its alway the lame stuff tt we would tok abt... anw... woke up to call jes to go gym... drove to gym... gym was awesome but i keep zoning out tinking abt some...thing... till got scolded by jes... lol.. aft tt was back home to pack up to go sch to study with cheryl and wj... didnt gotten much done cos gotten super emo... hmm... reread that for afew times... guess.. reali reali happy ba... hmm... awesome simple day... plus cheap carpark fee of 2.14 nia in ps... i tot would b higher... hmm... aft tinking abt it for a few days... well i realised me still a very reactive person even though i strive to less of tt... things or ppl tt matter... i m still unable to be calm and unreactive... my tongue still very sly... n i still say things tt i cant take in back in the heat of moment and tinking. i guess i expect too much out of this because everything seems so fated and so on its way... but end of the day why me so like tt is i am a person tt dread uncertainty... and this type of thing its alway an uncertainty... i tink i wan jus to feel noticed and matters... to try to find out if i m actually given a chance.. tt if its even possible... or i m jus thr to keep u from getting bored...the sometime close and sometimes cold thing... i realli cant tell... but guess me jus another fren ba... guess my initial assessment long long ago..is correct ba... too diff world too high lvl for me... some stuff i said i feel super dumb now... but o well... saggi me sucks... i need my ps3... i need to a game nerd... rawr... feel so noob abt tis type of thing... guess if i m too experience in tis = i would b a jerk alr... then again i guess gals likes jerks... jus tt they would marry a nice guy... till then its jerks all the way... so is it sad life me or sad life them? hmm the song...
posted @ 8:11 AM |
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
hahahaha... actually i dunno what to write... what to feel... what to do these days... i have no idea what u wan seriously... a distractor to pass time? Irritated by disappearing acts, not tt i m the crazy for anyone but i tink its super duper rude firstly... second, its like i did something wrong like tt sia...too clingy or whatever... and i dunno whats wrong... =.= den again i care lesser and lesser each time anyone does tt... like the mirror principle... why shd i care abt anyone when i m given none... its jus a hollowness thing here... n BS loh if u have a similar principle... totally not following... on other issues, DEC gonna get super duper bz!!!! starting from nov actually...FYPGYSS band camp + prac woot jap graf 4! helping coor the GYSS concertmount kk trainingbuy mount kk stuffeveryones bdaystarting work next weekend that eats into first day of the kk trip ( trying to see isit evening den go) , mst and section comp day..... if its not u i wouldnt go actually... band prac leading to MDmaking buying MD gifts10km runky garden projectother smaller sch work omg i haven get the form signed... ugh...dodgeball trainingoya... band... hmm... i dunno why thing can get so complicated.... i dunno why my good frens can get so complicated... too young? power? influence? no idea... 1 tt shoots down ideas, talk n actions differs, not matured yet with a kid jealous emotions alway on... o i noe why... a cusp... explains... o well.... others all have their problems at least they dun poke me... o well... sure hope my eyelight dun go wrong tis time... i alway outsource leadership and decision making to other ppl as i hate commitment... i hate being tied down by responsibilty... but end up i alway regrets... cos... not everyone i can respect as a leader... rarely in fact... cos i have such high expectations of a leader... o well.... i guess tis chill freelance life suits me too even though i like leading but no like be tied down... hahaha... problem child myself...Sagittarius: (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
You feel as if you have several golden opportunities in your romantic life today. You'll be lucky in love, so pick your next direction and start your journey.i wish i noe whr to go seriously... stay or go... i like u if it is not obvious enuff... but i have no idea what u wan us to be as i tink i said b4... frens, good fren, or more... whatever i do, say, sms is all due to the uncertainty of all these... but in reality i tink i wont have much time or $$ for tis actually... LOL.... i think i need someone that can be super honest, open, interesting or got link, independent ,not complaining abt the whole world, give me space when i need, fill up the space when i need...
posted @ 9:41 AM |
Saturday, November 5, 2011
hmm it seems that i m having a realli big family tree again without noticing... sp i have 1wife =.= james 3 sons mark hassan huayang, 2 daughters isey and sophia... 1 dad jiajun... 2 sis tt i wan to call... yahui and candy....today let tok abt sis... lol... i define as ppl whom i find very awesome and i wan them in my life for as long as possible... i wan to noe alot of their life usually but sadly this 2 dun reali like to tok to me :( hmm, once a sis they can be nth else.. but usually i am abit mean to them i mus say alway suaning them... joining others to suan them oso.. but if anything happen tat is serious i will be serious and do whatever i can to help... my usually jus dun spell my feelings nowadays... o well...yahui!met her in the spot camp... basically the catalyst of what is the tap now... so no her no tap :( from DIB which super cannot tell cos she dun have the biz face.. i seriously tink she go wrong course alr... if nt i tink her gpa will be better.... i call her dentist sometimes cos her name is ya-e... she is a half jap!!! hahaha explains the nice eyes... the singaporean part explains the height and fig... LOL...she is not stupid la... i say jkingly onli... but the sad thing is she nt close to me 1... wont tell me much... reply short like mad... sometimes i dunno if she wan be my sis anot sia... o well... i m sure if i more goodlooking things will be diff... hahaha... Candymet her from the mongolia trip... super duper nice !!!!! :) hahaha... i very long nv see a person so awesome yet so nice to ppl alr... alway willing to entertain me when i m bored... i m bored everyday...LOL... so... hahaha... sure hope she would let me hear more of her things instead of jus hearing me crap! :( why no one believe i would like to listen to ppl problems 1 sia... sure hope she stay long long in my life... hahahaon other stuffcurrently i m a wrong state of mind... i dunno how to tok to u seriously... be nice be mean... dun care or care... i dunno... i tink i m behaving like a kid but its jus how a saggi would behave ba i guess... i dun feel like doing anything... dun feel like going for lesson and stuff... shd normalize my life and stay away from u.... shd? no idea...
posted @ 8:30 AM |
Friday, November 4, 2011
hmm... we dun tok much now do we... guess i m a very easily replaceable person... o well... hahaha tt what u get for being hum sup and not handsome.... guess she led me on by accident... didnt even realised what she was doing... i dunno what to do tis 1... fren, good fren or hi bye fren... hmm...1 side of me cant reali be bothered alr aft what happen to me ard the same time last yr... i dun wan similar events to happen alr... tinking tt i shdnt even bother in the first place seriously... i shd stick with living my life can alr... whatever popby den so be it... the other side is tinking... nah shdnt be tinking... shall not tink so much and live my life the way it should be... balanced and simple... i create my own colours now.... o... i haven replace nic's umbrella!!! 2wks alr...zzzzz rawr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted @ 9:10 AM |