Hmm

I guess what she wants is low maintenance friend or something. I m quite numb abit it alr.. it actually doesnt matter what she wants any more.. I no long have the energy to tink about how to keep conversation going, how to ask her out, how to make her happy. Run out of mana if you will. Perhaps she wanted this in the first place, I would never know cos I m too tired too figure anything out already. The hot n cold and the hot doesnt look hot on second glance. Some of my frens say she seems particular nice to me. Thats true but it seems like what I would call 抱歉的关心..

I shall jus keep a distance till the heart dies someday and keep this low maintenance friend thingy. I can do that. Besides this sem is pretty much make or break cos its 6 cores it will be difficult for everyone den its my chance to pull away from the crowd by working harder and then the we can talk abt upgrading the scholarship, internship & exchange etc.

Life requires me to take a change again it seems and I shall. I need to keep my focus this time around. Good luck Kay.

Repeat telecast

Well the story goes.. I didnt noe how but I like a gal that I only intended to be at most good frens with.. didnt even noe when it happen actually.. wasnt even on the radar.. the thing is somewhere along the line I see that she isnt the one.. its like just from a too different world.. so I have decided to be back on the good fren track.. as usual there is this veil of awkwardness now.. at least on my side.. And the what if department in my head keep throw ideas in.. when I m already sick of trying alr.. 2 person in that 1 that head of mine.. been trying to catch her so I can say that I reject myself and lets try b awesome frens instead.. but o well cant seem to catch up... o well.. but thru this I m slowly seeing what kind of gal I actually need..

New start

2013 is coming to a close in a couple of days time, so I decided to make a few changes to my life in a bid to make myself more consistent in things. One of it is to make sure I keep the blogs alive. Gonna do a weekly summary so that I can organise my thoughts better, it seems like my speech and thinking process not as good as they used to be. Also, I would like to organise things a bit and keep it organised as much as possible if not it is just not sustainable I realised. So got to use my tablet a lot more often I guess.

Boring guess aside.. Let's see what have I done in the year 2013

The year started when I m in the last term of my poly life, we were all jaded and clearly not in the mood to study already. So we did many things half-hearted so result wasnt as good as expected but o well. It was also our last MD concert. Missed playing with the band alot.. Think my sound would suck so bad now.. Hahaha..

Random opportunity popped up just before the exams ended, result in me working in school with a not so bad pay. It is also this time that I started teaching ms Tinkerbell sister, ms hello kitty.. Lol.. Lets side track a bit.. This 10 months teaching Adeline, I realised she isn't a bad person, she has her kiddish dreamy side of her but that's OK. In time when she learn about life she will be a better person. She make me want to change my nephew and so I will. Her relationship with her isn't the best, but I tink if they would try to understand and accepting each other for who they are first, then things will work themselves out somehow. Hope they would be better in 2014 I guess. And her result please be good.. Haiz.. If not I will fail as a teacher..

Moving back to the work at school, basically its customer service so it was not the boring admin stuff.. My interpersonal skills got improve during this period, became more opinionated as well though. Was going to interviews during this period so it did kind of helped as well I guess. Kind of sad that go so many only got 1. If my first semester result is 4.2-4.5 range I tink I will try apply again to upsize the sponsorship. Uni life too expensive Sia serious.

April period was grad trip period! First one was Thailand with FOAD. Minus Weijie. O well, should have planned more I feel but overall it was awesome. I will go again definitely. I would want to explore more though this time. Right after that was Taiwan trip with the class.. Haha had lots of fun and its been a long time we could bond like that as a class. Taiwan food seriously... Its half my moon now Loh. Sad thing is they also have monsoon so it rained quite a fair bit there. Miss my poly class people. o well, things change and we cant do much about it.

So went back to work for awhile before going for the orientation camp for hall 7. Well the camp was fun but awkward.. Den school started.. Its a lot faster and a lot more in depth. So it's a bit of a shock. But overall its OK back I guess.. Let's hope my result will be OK. Hahaha its after Christmas so let's not think about it first. So that's about it my 2013.

Exams over~

Exams are finally over!! Hope that its a good start to my NTU life, 4.3 would be good please!  Finally got the time to get everything back in place before year ends. This year have been ridiculously fast, 2013 have been awesome to me so thank you in advance. Let's hope 2014 would be even better.

Hopefully I can write more consistently here, decided that I should move away from twitter already. What for let people who does not really care know about your thoughts. As much as I have the natural tendency to share what I know, not everyone want to hear it anyways. Gonna set up 1 more blog just for my thoughts. So this blog can be more focus on the daily life summary and other boring stuff.

Got myself a new pair of shoes cos i forgot to bring shoes to hall when I was about to report to work from hall

This is quite awesome I must say 

My blog looks ridiculously old.. haha these days i prefer to just save my tots as draft instead of posting but guess need to update here once in a while. 

Well quick update of my life if anyone still reads this blog, finally grad from SP.. guess the time was jus right... i was feeling a little bit jaded in that environment already... so currently in ntu... everyone been asking how come the change from env to civil... well... for job sake actually and the fact that i m always betting on the math components to score and civil have tons of it. I am actually more slack here than back in the SP days.. guess band realli takes up alot of time.. but it oso help to keep me on my toes... for time management and everything.. well really need to find stuff to get me busy and get the momentum again. 

Exams in 2 weeks, my target quite simple actually, surpass my roomie... hahaha... its jus i haven been able to do so for 3 years so i tot would be awesome if i could.. but then again he is really much more hardworking than i am.. plus brain wise hes got a way better engineer mind... i guess abit of competition is healthy right? to do that i guess i got to find back the passion and drive some where.. some how... 

hope the next update wont be that late...   

Hi Blog, its 516am and i somehow dun feel like slping yet so why not blog... its the last day of the holiday b4 the last sem starts.... i noe i gonna miss everything but i guess i cant stay in the mangroves forever... i m a oversize fish alr... need to go out to the sea soon and it tough it all out....

So its gonna be 3 years into poly so what abt it have changed... hmm... i used to alot more that look at the essences of things so much that i m efficient but not human enuff... i m not sure whether now being more human, more weak/lazy in this way for better or worse i guess only time will tell huh... i tot i will be able to understand myself much more than this but apparently i m too dumb to understand myself jus yet... o well...

people also ask me how come poly still no gf, all the xmm and stuff... well i have no idea too... hahaha... guess i m too weird to begin with... i m not the typical guy tts for sure... i dun have a very high standard jus i require everything to run like clockwork if not i will jus look else where... tt seems to be the problem... i dun try... i jus test water... lol... fail den next... o well... plus i m quite a hint idiot if there were any to begin with... i dunno what to write alr... lol... so bye...

Life

I got a feeling that this post title i have used for many times already actually but i will still stick to it. So haven been blogging lately. Well no one actually do come here often i am quite sure of it actually. Lets look at my life for a second here. Currently SP Year 3 DEWT, Sem 1 Term 2. Well, got to study a semester with the class 1 people. Initial thought was it cannot be that bad right? Well actually ya it wasnt as bad as the rest perceive it to be. I am still quite annoyed by someone in my class still though.just plain weirdo. Cant stand him for a second i tell you. And i thought my itp buddy was bad enough. Studies wise, I think i m super duper slack currently, really cant find the motivation that i had in the beginning and the i can overcome all mentality is gone too. I guess i really need it back now and start studying for the modules. My gpa well still not to my liking just yet. Which brings me to the question, where to next? NTU, NUS, SMU, SUTD, overseas ??? well factors many many and i am procrastinating on the research. lets set a personal target of settling this by first week of holiday to have a inital grasp where i can go.

On a personal level, I am quite a confused kid right now. I feel that i am backtracking instead of moving forward. Mistakes, things that i think through before suddenly becomes a issue again. All these is actually quite irritating cos i want to keep moving forward. keep getting stronger faster better and smarter. Hopefully this is just a transition phase. why the hell do i have so many transition phase. then again if not i will be too boring to never change right. I wonder if currently this me is the real me or not. hmmm...

ok band wise.... actually i feel like not playing for the concert already, well the reasons always being the same. I know i cant play well, or rather i m too lazy when playing to ensure all details are played out... the juniors are very very to themselves. I think its our fault actually but this is making me feel very unmotivated playing with a grp of strangers so to speak. On the other hand i do wan to grad from stage during md. So i will try for the last time for now, lets hope that i would stick thru out.

Lets see what else, money wise. i should get a job. i shall start tuitioning i guess. so that i got money to go aus and batam or wherever. Need a income, allowance not enuff. this is actually one of the reason why i dun look for gf cos i cant support myself alr still wan find a gf how to support sia.

which brings me to my love life, well the non existent 1, till now i still dunno what m i looking for in a lady actually. sometimes, the heart wanders but the brain just cuts it down before anything else and i still have the tendency to stick as a fren or close fren becos i believe that friends last forever, relationships does not. well as u go on with life, actually it does not hold. 70% of the friendship is due to proximity, so when  the proximity is removed as we all move on to next other stage of life or when they got to spend time with other friends many a times these friendships will be gone. Just like the clouds, so end up u have none of the two. Another "principle" if you can call it, it is if someone i know like the person, i will never like the same person becos i respect the fren of mine. Which does push away ur potential targets sometimes, too many times for me alr i noe. So i guess i m just gonna tok more to everyone and lets see how. think less feel more i guess.

hmm... went out with the taps today, simple dinner at ps. but going out with them alway works wonders, make me feel that i m refreshed to take on the world again. But for a long time i have realised that i tok very superficially to the people around me. I am not the type that would truely know every single facts about all my frens, constantly talk to them or things like tt.. tis makes me as edwin like to put it, very detached from the rest. well its quite my style since i dunno when. it makes me very mobile, i can go to many places but it also makes me not able to stay in a place for too long. I am not sure its a good thing or not but it does make me feel empty that i dun really noe my frens, come of my best friends even. I would like to know more actually but no one wants to tok to me :( lol...

So from the test, what i wan in life is love, youth and health. i tink love here isnt jus the romance type. i want to be loved by my frens and family as well and even the communities that i m in. i want to be the celebrated 1 but not the one in the limelight, not sure if tt makes any sense but tts what i alway want to achieve already actually. Youth too i guess its true, i cant stand too serious and have to act like my age. Health hmm, true too...
well that basically sums up my life for now. i want to be stronger faster better.
 

LOL.... just realise my last post is DEC 2011 sia~~~~ hahaha... o well, guess i dun realli post my tots in blogs much anymore.. time reali flies i guess, as long as u r not in the army... apr alr sia... some update of my life now. Currently, itp-ing at PUB. its reali awesome that 3mth itp = they can give us more substantial stuff to do. so each of us here at PUB is assigned to help in 1 project each... cool huh? didnt noe much abt my project beforehand though but as i learn actually it is quite interesting... my brain actually willing to learn what i refuse to absorb in class previously... guess i m reali a experimental learner have to go out there and experience everything myself. The colleagues are realli nice actually and most of them r actually quite young... not quite what i expected, hahaha my supervisor/buddy as they call it is actually 2 yo den me only... she is super duper nice, actually ask me what i wan to learn and she help me from there as well as look thru my work b4 grading the part she is suppose to grade. :))) Hopefully more ppl come and eat lunch with me though... hahaha... i am actually starting to be able to appreciate zh sia... lol... our backgrounds and workstyle is very diff... his is the plan everything keep thinking and thinking ahead 1... overkill to make sure things runs... mine is chill only focusing on efficient use of my effort... 1 shot 1 kill... using only right amt of force.. of cos his is safer mine will risk not enuff force/effort being put in on the first try. his would appear more kanchiong spider~ so mine have more class... LOLOL... K... none is wrong nonetheless.... i learn quite a bit from him actually... hahaha on the other intern i tink she is sick of both of us alr... boring... o well...

Moving on to other stuff... i actually wanted to do a blog post on awesomeness of 2011 of all the things i did for that year but kind of only remb it now... o well... hahahahaha i think procrastination and sloth is my greatest obstacle alway... hmm... Saw the kili teams pictures!!! omg looks awesome wan to hear stories from them!!!!!! hahahaha... too bad i was out of cash and got itp cant go... :(((

ah~ love life... hahaha... nthing much happened actually... u noe like a game of mahjong... i have a set of tiles that have abit of everything suit and big tiles... i realli to play which direction... and i dunno who and me got spark actually... and well i guess i haven recovered still... no guts to go all out alr... there is 1 thr ppl try to push us tgt but some say i actually deserve better lol... tt's rare... but the problem is actually is i dunno what she 1... it would appear she wan to awesome frens only... so i assume so lo...

havent had any other targets though... ppl alway say u in poly leh!! so many xmm... lol... but i guess i have no taste for xmm actually... i need someone with brains on par as mine that can keep me on my toes... that got link/synergy thats all i need actually... very hard meh~~ lol...

o well guess see fate lo...

I am going to try to on my effort mode longer and bigger trying to see where is my limit... too slack for too long till i dunno where is my limit alr...

Lastly..........................................................................................................................................................................

but not the least..........................................................................................................................................................................

Happy 1st Birthday TAPs!!! :)

let see if i can piece tgt the story of us of the entire year

it all began... from this camp

telunas camp

We all went for the leap camp for spot. each knowing just 1 or 2 really well.... I got to noe TeoHan and followed by jacq cos she was with janis in the other group. Yinsoon was in my group too... didnt realli talk to him alot though cos we abit no link... weijie was in the other team though didnt have much interaction cos grp 1,2 do diff stuff from 3,4 b4 swopping.. so is dexter and yahui... actually i didnt noe which grp yy is frm actually.. my bad... so tt sums up the link coming form my view...

cos i was bored or smth asked if ppl have twitter on the fb grp... so got to add a few ppl... 1 of them was yahui... didnt pay much attention to her previously actually... first impression was this friendly but loud/noisy gal... sorry sis :) hahaha... actually pay more attention on the other gal... the dexter scandal... xinyi... lol... cos she tis aura that i dunno what to describe with actually... so ok twitter... some random day... somehow we managed to organise a going out... weird combi though didnt noe how it happen... so its ys, yh, me and xy... LOL... when we nv tok much during camp me and ys and i nv tok to yh and xy at all i tink... hahaha... it turns out weirdly ok though... i remb we ate the burger thingy in town... thats how i got to tok to yh and xy more though...

aft tt... hmm...

jacq, janis, me wj, th went to eat steamboat and tao huey with the pic dated 10-4-11 remb we tok alot abt ours lives that time... hahaha... guess it is easier to tok to ppl usually out of ur main social circle at that time. 

jacq birthday.. special guest merlin

spsb charity concert... taps came to support!!! cos there is 4 of us in the band i tink it is ard this time that the name came into existence

more pictures... jus realized there is alot of pictures if i put i wont finish this post till next week... shall stop here... this concludes part 1 abt tap~  

super early in the morning just to study sce cos it jus wont go in last night... o well b4 tt jus felt like blogging so here i m... well its this time of the year again... last year i jus got to noe a colour ard this period... yup mst period too i remb... both happen to study in the band rm for mst...didnt study thr for her though... didnt like her back then i remb... it was till much later... but o well past its past...

i tink i have resolved my problems with her alr actually, hope tt we can actually be normal toking friends again.. o well i will try to work for it but it wont be ez i guess...

which brings me to other issues... haven tok to the current 1 for some time alr... guess me am a very easily replaced person ba... o well... but there is just a fear in me that if i go ahead like with the lady from the top, the colour... then the chance of repeat telecast will happen... guess i cant go thru the same thing 2x in a year... lady chases shadow of the old.... me comes along trying very hard... too hard... another guys comes along... she start chasing that shadow instead jus like tt... tinking abt it send chills down my spine of the hollowness of the soul i felt back in feb... shall not tink into further details... this fear... well... i dunno what to do with it actually... i tink it will lesser as time goes if i actually follow the saggi way... hmm... but now... i jus dun dare to try so hard...

dun dare till i changed my mind abt working with her, abt many things... i m actually affected seeing there r ppl so nice to her and her putting all down in the blog... jus like what happen with the colour actually...

guess i only dare to fly like the wind this time b4 going too deep into this unless something pops out and fate show me tt i shd... guess that would jus be my brain showing me what i wan to see anw... guess i shd have stick with originally plan of mine... be everyone's fren... i tink i m better at that... guess not mine to keep ba... still need to mia with my sis when my original plan was jus to get the card, give u all herbal tea tinking u all might be toking the whole day like it fair like tt... =.= o well...

Mst is coming... time to really study and restock my stationary... went back to gysb band camp... still feel weird going back as 23 yo... older den the older ones by 4 yrs... rawr!! but then why i go back is based on a very simple idea... i jus wan to see gysb grown beyond what we couldnt do in the past... and if i can do my little part i would... hahaha couldnt tok much to the sax section cos i dunno them at all... lol... n dun wan bore them with my gramps like stories... nevertheless get to know some of them abit better... jus abit... hopefully i dun alway jus stick to hui ting they all for the alumni practices

I m actually still pissed about the moonlight bao yu thingy i dunno why... lol... guess no one touches my juniors...

i tink i jus gonna leave u be... i m sick of trying to guess and get it right when there is no right in the first places.. wont emo as much cos u r not at a colour lvl... fortunately or unfortunately....

jus to remind i shall write it here....

tue

skip first lesson see i wan to study or sleep more tml...

finish sch go for the hype interview... hope it is short... collect stand chart

go gy... hopefully can study abit... or i will stay in sch to study... see my mood and anyone heading down anot...if i do i will go home bring study stuff and kk stuff to camp over shd try to interact with more ppl more... if nt like a boring only... i might stay tml night over in gy... see if jason allow anot... shall do more work hopefully... go to sch wed 8am... hope i do actually slp... lol... go for kk training at bukit timah.... hopefully not cancel like last week... go back bath and see if i can get back gy in time for prac... will drive thr to get saxophone at least and see if i wan stay anot... lol...

thur i go vivo buy anything i need to buy for kk trip aft sch... and then come back for dip plus... by right is tue 1... shall see thur lesson what time...and friday got quiz then kk kit check... sat got band again... aft tt shall full mugging mode.. sun is stand chart... rawr!

hmm... it seems i rarely do recount of the day anymore here... its alway emo shit... guess tt bcos i prefer to put it here then to mafan ppl listen to me whine... and my whine is too honest for most ppl... so if u read jus b prepared if u nt happy with whatever i say...

lets recount... today woke up on time surprisingly but its the meeting time tt i woke up too... was toking to munch abit... woot so many more ppl got iphone... naise... i tink its the first time we tok till so serious... lol... its alway the lame stuff tt we would tok abt... anw... woke up to call jes to go gym... drove to gym... gym was awesome but i keep zoning out tinking abt some...thing... till got scolded by jes... lol.. aft tt was back home to pack up to go sch to study with cheryl and wj... didnt gotten much done cos gotten super emo... hmm... reread that for afew times... guess.. reali reali happy ba... hmm...

awesome simple day... plus cheap carpark fee of 2.14 nia in ps... i tot would b higher...

hmm... aft tinking abt it for a few days... well i realised me still a very reactive person even though i strive to less of tt... things or ppl tt matter... i m still unable to be calm and unreactive... my tongue still very sly... n i still say things tt i cant take in back in the heat of moment and tinking. i guess i expect too much out of this because everything seems so fated and so on its way... but end of the day why me so like tt is i am a person tt dread uncertainty... and this type of thing its alway an uncertainty... i tink i wan jus to feel noticed and matters... to try to find out if i m actually given a chance.. tt if its even possible... or i m jus thr to keep u from getting bored...the sometime close and sometimes cold thing... i realli cant tell... but guess me jus another fren ba... guess my initial assessment long long ago..is correct ba... too diff world too high lvl for me...

some stuff i said i feel super dumb now... but o well... saggi me sucks... i need my ps3... i need to a game nerd... rawr... feel so noob abt tis type of thing... guess if i m too experience in tis = i would b a jerk alr... then again i guess gals likes jerks... jus tt they would marry a nice guy... till then its jerks all the way... so is it sad life me or sad life them? hmm the song...

november rain...

hahahaha... actually i dunno what to write... what to feel... what to do these days... i have no idea what u wan seriously... a distractor to pass time? Irritated by disappearing acts, not tt i m the crazy for anyone but i tink its super duper rude firstly... second, its like i did something wrong like tt sia...too clingy or whatever... and i dunno whats wrong... =.= den again i care lesser and lesser each time anyone does tt... like the mirror principle... why shd i care abt anyone when i m given none... its jus a hollowness thing here... n BS loh if u have a similar principle... totally not following...

on other issues, DEC gonna get super duper bz!!!! starting from nov actually...

FYP

GYSS band camp + prac woot jap graf 4!

helping coor the GYSS concert

mount kk training

buy mount kk stuff

everyones bday

starting work next weekend that eats into first day of the kk trip ( trying to see isit evening den go) , mst and section comp day..... if its not u i wouldnt go actually...

band prac leading to MD

making buying MD gifts

10km run

ky garden project

other smaller sch work

omg i haven get the form signed... ugh...

dodgeball training

oya... band... hmm... i dunno why thing can get so complicated.... i dunno why my good frens can get so complicated... too young? power? influence? no idea... 1 tt shoots down ideas, talk n actions differs, not matured yet with a kid jealous emotions alway on... o i noe why... a cusp... explains... o well.... others all have their problems at least they dun poke me... o well... sure hope my eyelight dun go wrong tis time...

i alway outsource leadership and decision making to other ppl as i hate commitment... i hate being tied down by responsibilty... but end up i alway regrets... cos... not everyone i can respect as a leader... rarely in fact... cos i have such high expectations of a leader... o well.... i guess tis chill freelance life suits me too even though i like leading but no like be tied down... hahaha... problem child myself...

Sagittarius: (Nov 22 - Dec 21)

You feel as if you have several golden opportunities in your romantic life today. You'll be lucky in love, so pick your next direction and start your journey.

from http://www.twittascope.com/sagittarius/sagittarius-lovescopes.php

i wish i noe whr to go seriously... stay or go...

i like u if it is not obvious enuff... but i have no idea what u wan us to be as i tink i said b4... frens, good fren, or more... whatever i do, say, sms is all due to the uncertainty of all these... but in reality i tink i wont have much time or $$ for tis actually... LOL....

i think i need someone that can be super honest, open, interesting or got link, independent ,not complaining abt the whole world, give me space when i need, fill up the space when i need...

sis

hmm it seems that i m having a realli big family tree again without noticing... sp i have 1wife =.= james 3 sons mark hassan huayang, 2 daughters isey and sophia... 1 dad jiajun... 2 sis tt i wan to call... yahui and candy....

today let tok abt sis... lol...

i define as ppl whom i find very awesome and i wan them in my life for as long as possible... i wan to noe alot of their life usually but sadly this 2 dun reali like to tok to me :( hmm, once a sis they can be nth else.. but usually i am abit mean to them i mus say alway suaning them... joining others to suan them oso.. but if anything happen tat is serious i will be serious and do whatever i can to help... my usually jus dun spell my feelings nowadays... o well...

yahui!

met her in the spot camp... basically the catalyst of what is the tap now... so no her no tap :(

from DIB which super cannot tell cos she dun have the biz face.. i seriously tink she go wrong course alr... if nt i tink her gpa will be better.... i call her dentist sometimes cos her name is ya-e... she is a half jap!!! hahaha explains the nice eyes... the singaporean part explains the height and fig... LOL...she is not stupid la... i say jkingly onli... but the sad thing is she nt close to me 1... wont tell me much... reply short like mad... sometimes i dunno if she wan be my sis anot sia... o well... i m sure if i more goodlooking things will be diff... hahaha...

Candy

met her from the mongolia trip... super duper nice !!!!! :) hahaha... i very long nv see a person so awesome yet so nice to ppl alr... alway willing to entertain me when i m bored... i m bored everyday...LOL... so... hahaha... sure hope she would let me hear more of her things instead of jus hearing me crap! :( why no one believe i would like to listen to ppl problems 1 sia... sure hope she stay long long in my life... hahaha

on other stuff

currently i m a wrong state of mind... i dunno how to tok to u seriously... be nice be mean... dun care or care... i dunno... i tink i m behaving like a kid but its jus how a saggi would behave ba i guess... i dun feel like doing anything... dun feel like going for lesson and stuff... shd normalize my life and stay away from u.... shd? no idea...

what to do?

hmm... we dun tok much now do we... guess i m a very easily replaceable person... o well... hahaha tt what u get for being hum sup and not handsome.... guess she led me on by accident... didnt even realised what she was doing... i dunno what to do tis 1... fren, good fren or hi bye fren... hmm...1 side of me cant reali be bothered alr aft what happen to me ard the same time last yr... i dun wan similar events to happen alr... tinking tt i shdnt even bother in the first place seriously... i shd stick with living my life can alr... whatever popby den so be it... the other side is tinking... nah shdnt be tinking... shall not tink so much and live my life the way it should be... balanced and simple... i create my own colours now....

o... i haven replace nic's umbrella!!! 2wks alr...zzzzz rawr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

clouds

problems are like clouds, some r big some r small, some so fluffy u feel like dying... it might cover up ur whole sky... but on the side of the problem is the sun and clouds give us water just like problems give us experience... problems like clouds u can either whine about it or appreciate it...

random max... lol... k i have decided to go back to play for MD estimating that my things will get bz right aft it... guess if thr is anything i cant leave behind is saxophone even though i m getting from noob to noober... guess i got start self prac alr... hmm...

completed the garden with the GT... woot... tt concludes our project basically... like a happy only.

as for her well i dunno what to do seriously sia.. i guess shd run away in case i get hurt.. cos i reali dunno what she wan... no pt tinking so much... i m quite reluctant to fight for lost cause aft what happen the same period last yr... so... bye! sad love life... but everything else in my life like a nice only so i guess the guy up thr is very nice to me alr :)))

i left with 2 mths to try to get ippt gold for tt extra 200... LOL.... jyjy!!!

hmm which way?

Back from Korea, dun reali wan to blog about it... the tot of quit band slip into my mind again after seeing the gold with honors. But seriously, there is 4 tenor plus liyi and lucus den 6 alr... at most the band need 2... with 4-6 us means we have to play soft, and we r not pro enuff to maintain that volume with a good tone, everytime we play, i grinned, i cant stand the tone. end up tone was never in the rest of the tenors mind i dunno y... they dun take note of what i dunno...we r not used to playing loud plus tone plus soloistic... so most of our solos r jus notes... i tink quiting would help them alot. Furthermore, i got dip plus which eats up 1 practise every week, i hate the feeling of not knowing how to play and dragging everyone down... i irk the feeling... even with all the prac i alr dun sound nice, worse with the amt of prac that i would have... lastly, currently my family financially not doing well thank to my dad so no more traveling and wild spending for now, and i can teach tuition with the extra time. i only have 24 hrs a day 7 days week... something got to go... i m sick of being in such a judgmental place with obsoletes still around...seeing such a virus tormenting the grp alr... but i cant do much i sort of help the virus into them... guess kk was right so long ago... 这个女人不是一个好东. k abit mean but ya...

The Vast, The big, The fluffy , The soul

Hi all, haven blog for some time alr... was in Inner Mongolia for 2 weeks in Duolun county to help 治樹. The weather was really cold and dry, got to feed my skin with moisturizer and lips the lip balm but i got lazy some whr in between. Lowest temp we experience was as low as 5 deg. during the 蒙古包stay.

We start with a nite stay in BJ den followed by a 8 hr trip up the mountain roads to Duo Lun.

BJ and duolun is reali reali diff.. duolun are all the old sch shophouses in blocks but BJ are much more modern in their buildings and much faster pace. After that was orientating the ground whr gonna dig... up the 2 hills to see the awesome view and visualise how it as sand dunes and desert everywhr... soon we started work... reali enjoyed the blue sky, the clouds, the wind, the accompanying by everyone of the GT, the natural, and i didnt sweat for the digging part when i tot we would be sweating like mad.. aft tt was the putting in of the sapling den we realise we dig over our target and so we completed 1133 tree planting.. we took pics on the railway track that was beside the digging site when the sunset... the pics mus be so beautiful as the sun set! we had tons of food from day 1, was super adventurous for this trip... trying all the food and any food... but their oil, chilli, salt like free 1 sia... jus spam onli but overall i tink the food is still nice~ some are reali awesome... i can jus eat those day in day out... like the porridge plus the toufu! but sadly didnt get to try the some of the exotic stuff... we spent mid autumn fest as a grp in Duolun with the fireworks and the we mongolian mooncake... freezing but it was warm in the heart for such a fest...

after that we when ard touring and know abt the importance of duolun in the past and many other historic monuments to understand how history run its course here... get to reali know about everyone and reflect abt my life as well... i manage to complete all the goals i set out to do mayb except the 1 abt getting a gf... was tinking if 1 of them is possible but felt that she too high lvl alr plus like play play like tt onli.. she feel like a poison like the colours previously so shall not continue... the other 1... tt everyone think we got 1 leg 1... well i dunno that how so just see how ba...

overall i tink everyone grown and got closer... hopefully we could carry it forward... reali hope so...

a few exceptionally awesome ppl

adhi

only get to know him well during the trip, i can tell he is reali a good person with alot of passion in everything he do.. and he is able to see the little little things tt most ppl miss out... did the marking making our lives so much ez-er..

candy

my log boss that is gonna stalk this post later so i shd write political correct stuff for her... hohoho... Get to know her only during this trip, really glad to know her!! hahaha... very very nice person that alway tahan my randomness, nice nice girl to talk to... like a awesome only...

kai

fellow saggi... i tink she is reali very saggi... k sound wrong but ya... very awesome person... hahaha... like cool and pretty with the pink hair... hahaha...

azmi

reali awesome person that know and trying to enjoy and live life, someone that have substance, reali reali funny person as well dare to act funny and stuff. reali reali brother brother person...

nick

before the trip, my view abt him wasnt too good cos of the gossips n rumors abt him.. but my views abt him change totally during the trip. he is reali awesome... glad i didnt tok to him with a closed mind and now he a great friend...

hope i have grown enuff from this trip to tahan whatever the world have to throw at me... hopefully this isnt another 1sided thingy...

Hi life y u sho like tt?

Its the exam period currently, but next paper is 4 day later with a few chapters to study so guess i shall start studying tml.. just had prata supper with munchee.. she look different everytime i see her... lol... i no like find parking at thomson sia... actually i jus hate parking... very stress i feel... no wonder hongkong drama last time alway got show those ppl help u park ur car 1... haha.. though it was bery weird cos we haven tok to each other much for very long time and we nv tok to other ppl from the ogl grp much either so nth much to tok abt from my side i could tink of.. lol... but still very nice to see her.. hahaha... alway nice to see old frens... guess we are all getting old... she is in her last year in uni going out to work in a yr time or smth... wish her the best of luck... haha... awesome person there...

On other things, the world has alway been scary... its even scarier when no one is doing anything about it. a small part of me actually wish 2012 it true so it stop all these bullshit that is happening. the rest shall give my wishes that the world do have a future and life be better for everyone.. i guess life isnt so bad... if u look at it positively...

Sure hope at least sch side the money would come soon... zzzz... i onli got the 200 out my target 1750 in my bank currently to fund everything for my Mongolia and korea trip... zzzz...

first trip to Mongolia

5 Sep to 18 Sep to do reforestation and do my little part of helping the world and see China as part of the deal... not bad a deal huh...

2nd trip to Korea

Band exchange in korea! hope they dun own us... lol... uni band sia... some how i dun have good feeling abt tis trip but still will try to enjoy as much as possible b4 close shop for any trips till mayb grad...

aft all these... i would have visited 4 countries and 5 places all within this year... like a awesome only...

Hope the guy get some karma for bullying my godsis... where can like tt 1... disgrace to guys sia seriously, funny why gal alway like jerks... but still i rather not be 1... i have many names... perhaps too many, Father, son, old man, spp, uncle, awesome uncle, bro, korkor... guess i still missing 1... but no one would call me that i guess for a long time... i hope this 2 trips that i m going gonna be the getaway that i need to rid the feelings for the distractor... which i shd have done a long long time ago... weird tt eventhough we didnt go out much, didnt tok much, didnt do much but still like the distractor... but she is a pure saggi... uncatchable... maybe i shd be 1 as well like i used to be... life fun enough now anws.... guess i shall continue to on my radar for fun as per normal... tok to gals more than to guys as usual... and lead the no string attached kind of life... life of a saggi...

not bad i write alot of shit alr... forgot abt ibm... hahaha... 2nd ibm... those it was reali nice and well organised... great job lionel and cheryl... though the tuning problem is alway there... dunno if i shd play for md actually... i do wan to say good bye to the year 3 on stage of esplanade but... so many saxophone how sia seriously... i dun like to play soft btw cos of so many ppl have to soften down more den usual and not like i super zai soft still good tone like tt... very irritated if i got a poor tone... haiz... see how ba this 1... gyss alumini band... hope shai can play! hahaha... guess i still got not alot of link with they all yet... lol... guess only time can do such magic...

Change

Many things have change over the past year, me, my frens, the world. i know that change is the only constant saying but sometimes i wonder if it is for the better or for the worse. Sometimes i tink situations change doesnt reali affect as much as the change of heart and mentality. Cos i find alot of the people ard r as tired aft yr 1... but actually the workload actually didnt change tt much. jus we all got lazy and complacent. when i tink we shd be getting stronger , faster , better but nope... so i dunno isit good to let it be...

another change is that i am showing more of the Sagittarius side of me alr... but not exact showing a improvement in working hard... i m too good at dodging arrow and lazy at putting effort and soul into my work... which is frustrating cos i wan to get better but there is this constant auto lazyness... ugh.. hope aft my personality shift and stuff its over its a better me...
still the core remains though, i think about life alot, how to make it better while looking out for stuff are alr there and appreciate, i tink i m less complicated than alot of ppl. I drink occasionally but i only drink when i have to, if nt i would avoid. Club i dun club cos i tink its a waste of money to so call get into the 'trendy prefix' n i dun like to mix of ppl thr. i like to meet new people, tok to new people but jus to see new perspectives of life. i like to tok to ladies more den guys alot , but i mean nth at all sia actually, no like i got the looks for a hua hua gong zi... looks attracts my attention but its the heart n character tt can make me stay i realise. I m still looking but not so fiercely actually, i guess the guy up there alway have a plan but at least i have to look out for it right.. sometimes i m grateful about how i m... i m observant abt little things in life and appreciate them, and this makes me a forever optimist, inturn made my life ez-er to live n nt pass by like others would put it.

There is too much things happening in my life currently? actually not yet i feel but i m jus nt putting enuff effort to even match last year efforts. which is again irritating... i dun tink i m spreading myself too thin yet but jus nt using my time efficient enuff... the skillscan that i did in stanford and many other things make me realise mayb engineering mayb nt my thingy entire, i can do the things but it doesnt utilse my abilities naturally, jus tt i naturally feel i mus have standard in everything i do so i can get by exams assign n stuff still ok-ly... lol... so i looking for alternatives whr i can study actually i can be more tapped...

current happening, got back to play there, hahaha some how tt place tt we practise got the bwl br feel... no idea why... m very happy abt it... alway have the exile feeling no idea y...
going mongolia for ocip... reali like the grp i dunno y... cos it has reali awesome ppl... and the work its gonna test me but i noe i gonna like it... den 2 days aft i come back i will go korea with sp band... hope its gonna be awesome have my fingers crossed... k shall stop here due to the piling up of work...